3.13.2011
YOUR TURN
3:50 PM | 
Posted by
Codie Leath
I've shared with you some of my thoughts and experiences about mentoring. NOW I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
- Have you ever been mentored?
- If so, were you initiated to or did you have to initiate the relationship?
- Is there organic or programmed mentoring going on at your church?
- Do you have an older lady in mind that you'd like to meet with?
- What is holding you back from asking her for an appointment?
- What areas of life do you need help with?
- If you have been mentored, what was the format?
- What was most helpful that your mentor did for you?
- Any other thoughts?
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11 comments:
1. Yes I have had the privilege of having been both mentored and discipled by several different women.
2.As a young Christian, God was gracious to give me a women who initiated to me and offered me discipleship. Then as a young wife, I was also lucky to have an older godly wife, initiate time with me and pursue a purposeful relationship with me where she sought to encourage me and challenge me in the area of godly womenhood (mentoring).
I realize more and more how RARE it is for a younger women to have older godly women actually initiate this sort of relationship. Outside of the 'discipleship rich' environment I was in, it becomes more and more rare. And over the last 4 years I have had to be very purposeful, prayerful, and even aggressive in seeking godly female leadership.
3. There is, incredibly, only organic mentoring going on within our church.
4.-5.Yes, I do have an older lady in mind that I have been asking for time around once a month now for several months.
Although I sympathize with the hesitancy to ask the women I see living their lives passionately for Jesus, for their time, because their schedules are usually already fairly full with being a wife, mother, keeper of their home, and disciple-maker already! Which makes me want to ask for their time all the more!
6. During this season, I need help in the area of purposeful, gospel centered, parenting; both perspective and actual how-to's.
7. I have been mentored in several different fashions: long distance weekly one on one phone conversations, weekly group book studies lead by an older Godly woman, monthly lunch dates with my baby in tow, and now, monthly play dates with an older Godly women and her children. I have been to church lead, 'mentoring' programs, like videos series bible studies and things, but I have found then to be incredibly unsuccessful in actually moving women forward in their intimacy and relationship with Jesus. In my experience they tend to lack the opportunity for true vulnerability that I think is needed for growth.
8. The most helpful thing my mentors have done for me is to ask the hard questions, call me out when I am in sin, share God Truth as it pertains to my situation, pray with and for me, and follow up on things I may have previously shared.
9. There is a book called Spiritual Mothering, by Susan Hunt, that has been very encouraging to me over the last several years in seeking out godly leadership. It has pushed me to highly value the input I am able to receive from women who have gone before me even more and to be willing to aggressively seek it out. The fact is, if I want to grow in something, I am going to look for a really good teacher. Godly womenhood should be no different.
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Yes i have been mentored but since college i haven't had anything structured. I have usually had to initiate it and have met with several different people of all ages instead of having a mentor that i have stuck with throughout the years. Since i have just moved to a new city recently, i have had the blessing of structured accountability weekly with some women which has been great for my walk with God. But i don't have anyone that I meet with regularly that I ask questions to or who is thinking for my growth. Our church is getting discipleship groups started, but I will lead one and not be in one, therefore I will be giving leadership to younger women, but won't have anyone pouring into me. There are a few women that stick out in my mind that I would love to meet with for mentoring, but I fear rejection! I see how busy they are and fear asking to make their life busier. But it is something I want more than anything and feel like a once a month commitment to someone for a few months isn't as big of a deal as i'm probably making it out to be. i would love to talk to someone about my marriage and being a mom. These past 3 blogs have been a great reminder and encouragement to me to step out and ask someone for help!
Mandy
Mandy, thank you for sharing!! I think if you ask for a one appointment a month commitment for 6 months and say you'll always come with questions ready and your life organized to share about, your possible mentor will feel like it's a light, doable load. It's having to draw issues out of people that is the draining part. But if you take that away, you're more like to get a positive response. Also, think how you can be a blessing to her as well...maybe offer free babysitting or surprise her with baked goods,homemade cards, home organizational help, etc.
Melissa, your aggressiveness in pursuing a mentor is impressive. You've always been that way since I first met you as a new believer. You should use your courage and your experience to be a voice among women about the need to pursue a mentor. And i agree with you that a video series or large group mentor program is missing the very essence of what makes mentoring work: one on one. One on one produces trust and vulnerability and results in specific advice for your unique situation. When you meet one on one, you feel your mentor's interest in you, and you walk away knowing you have an ally in the fight to thrive. I hope you have plenty of opportunity to mentor others because you have a lot to pass on! And thanks for the Susan Hunt recommendation.
My mentor relationship was initiated by my very first discipler...Mrs. Codie Leath!!
When I had not yet received Christ and before I made my commitment to learn about Jesus through a summer project, you initiated to me through two good friends of mine and we met at Starbucks. Such an unforgettable time with you dear Codie.
I learned so much from you; for example that the Old Testament was the foretelling and foreshadowing of the Messiah and that the New Testament is Christ;s life and the impact of discipleship and sharing the gospel of Christ's reason for his death, resurrection ect. Bless you for reproducing reproducers as followers of Christ and for impacting my life forever.
My church Fellowship Memphis does not have a mentorship program, however they have an outline of growth groups where women meet and men meet seperately to commit 3 years of learning from each other with a leader appointed.
I currently meet with my disciple leader who meets once a week with me to help me disciple the other women in my life.
I believe that one-on-one's are key like you were talking about, Codie. They expose sin issues, areas that need to be worked out, and much more. Great investment of your time. So go out there and start initiating time with Godly, wise women around you
I've had a couple formal mentors, and I pursued both of them.
Codie- I would have to say your wonderful mother was one of my first mentors. I learned so much from her and the way she lived out her life, it is so reflected in who you all have become today. Throughout the years I would say I've been mentored and been a mentor. Some structured and others not. I think I've learned more from those that God has placed in my life as just the right moments in time. At those times the people haven't been afraid to confront me about things in my life and really had me take a hard look at where I was. Mentoring is so essential to your spiritual growth. I was always told have a Timothy, someone younger then you with a fire for God, and a Barnabas, someone older who had been through life's experiences and held tight to God's hand.
I was mentored during my college years and it was a HUGE factor in my spiritual growth and preparied me to be a "big girl" once college was over. The biggest help was holding me accountable to meeting with the Lord. That has spilled over into my life to this day. The thing that was helpful about college was I was pursued for discipleship. The fact that I didn't have to go initiate was good for my personality. Of course, I had to meet them half way and be FAT, but my mentors usually took the first step. There literally isn't a day that goes by that I am not grateful for Bree and Cindy in my life! I am a work in progress and constantly working to bring out the "initiator" in me. So far since being married, I have stepped out to get closer to peers and women my age and in my stage of life, but have yet to initiate a mentoring relationship with an older woman. God has been sweet to bring very timely wisdom into my life from older women, but nothing formal, consistent, and intentional, really. When I get a chance to pick the brain of an older, godly woman I am usually most interested in parenting and marriage issues. Currently, I would ask about how she taught responsibility to her kids through chores etc. I want to know how to implement basic chores for a two and three year old. I also want to seek wisdom and know-how about Homeschooling because we have decided to go that route. Other than that just basic encouragement about being a stay at home mom in today's world. Love you Codie! Hope this helps. :)
Working for a Christian mentoring ministry I see and experience firsthand the value that a mentoring relationship can have in the life of an adult or child. In my own life, I look back to the early years of my marriage and am grateful for Christian women like Faye Middleton and Agnes Moss that invested time in me. Those women, sharing in my life, were particularly important while my husband served in the military and I was geographically far from the influence of Christian women in my own family. Although I never had a "formal" mentoring relationship (where we met on a regular basis) with Faye or Agnes they were women that I knew I could go to for trusted advice from God's word. They also had "hearts for their homes" and since my desire was to stay at home they mentored me in that endeavor. As I age, I still see the value and importance of seeking out women who are not only my age, but older then I, for "seasoned advice" when it comes to "living life well" and staying focused in my walk. I think the most important aspects of a mentoring relationship is the availability factor and being committed to meeting. For me it helps me "stay the course" when I know I have consistent accountability.
Hi Cody! I'm finally replying to this post, and have wanted to for a while now... :) I've never really been mentored to as far as I can remember. I've wanted to for a while now, though. I have asked my dad's advice from time to time (he's a pastor), as well as my current pastor's help on a spiritual issues. And my mom has always been helpful and great to talk to about spiritual or home issues at various times. But I've never really had a mentoring relationship.
There is an organic mentoring just starting up in our church, we just heard from my pastor. I've not been involved yet (I'm also rather new in my church), but I hope I can be involved! There's an older lady I do have in mind in my church named Ruth to ask about mentoring, but I'm not sure about asking her because she has a small business and I don't know her very well yet.
The areas of life I probably need the most help with is how to most effectively build up my husband in his family leadership role and be a good help-meet to him. Also, how to view my calling of being a nurse and how to balance that with my current home-maker calling. Connected to that is how to more effectively prioritize and schedule my time. I also would love some advice about different spiritual struggles I deal with. Ok, that's a lot, but any help in any of these areas I'd appreciate so much through a mentor.
...Now for the step of courage to ask someone to mentor me...
Thank you Anna, Andrea, Melissa, mdwebb, Lisa, and Joanna for your comments. I find them all so interesting as I think about this area of the Christian life. Keep pursuing your mentors and cultivating teachable hearts and pass on what you've learned. We all benefit from ladies like you :)
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