9.21.2010

postheadericon God, Make Me Useful!

9:33 PM | Posted by Codie Leath

This post was going to be about mentoring.  But before I go there I need to say:  What is the point of thriving?  Why dedicate an entire blog to it?  So we can be useful in advancing God’s kingdom.  If we are not faithful with our “big rock” responsibilities, we won’t be mentally or emotionally available for outreach.  When I’m at odds with my husband, sharing Christ’s love with my neighbor is the last thing on my mind.  When I’m stressed because I didn’t budget my time well and now I’m behind on three different projects, my mind and heart are consumed with the temporal.  But if marriage, parenting, work, my home, my body, etc. are functioning smoothly, (not without glitches but as one who’s given careful forethought to each area), then my mind and heart are open to spiritual realities and opportunities.  

I’ve never wanted God’s kingdom to advance as much as I do now.  I’m begging God to bring my friends into a relationship with Christ.  I don’t want it to be just Brad and me sitting together at church but that we could fill an entire row with new believers in Christ!  Imagine how incredible that worship service would be.  I visualize it every Sunday morning, I can’t get past it.  If only He would use us like that!   I would give anything.  And why wouldn’t He?  Jesus told us to make disciples.  2 Corinthians 5 says God gave us the ministry of reconciliation.  If He gave us the ministry, He will use us, unless, of course, we’re not useful.  And that’s what the thriving thing is all about, helping us become useful.

2 Timothy 2:20-21 says “In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble.  If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.”  I want to be useful more than anything in the world!!  The thought of partnering with the Master in His work feels to me like landing the dream job in the most influential industry.  What is more significant than being a player in advancing Jesus’ kingdom???  So how can I be useful?  Cleanse myself from articles used for ignoble purposes.  Umm, what does that mean?  Well, the verses around it are saying to turn away from wickedness, evil desires of youth, foolish arguments, quarreling, and resentment.  I guess those would be the wood and clay.  It also says to pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, a pure heart, kindness, and teaching ability.  Those would be the gold and silver.  Let’s evaluate the articles in our lives to see if we’re useful.  If we find we’re not, let’s do whatever it takes to get there…that’s what this blog hopes to help you do!

In college, I led some girls in my dorm to Christ and started leading them in a Bible Study.  But then my immaturity and unsurrendered areas of idolatry crept in and overtook all my usefulness.  AKA…I got boy crazy and the kingdom work lost its luster so I gave it up.  Fortunately, I had an awesome mentor and roommate who both walked me through it and called me back to following Christ.  I did, by God’s grace, and got back in the game.  It’s been 11 years since and being useful has been a 2 part effort:  praying for and sharing Christ with my friends, but also taking care of my big rocks so that when opportunities do come along I can act.  That’s being useful.  That’s living in light of the Great Commission.  If you want God to use you, then get ready for it! 
2 comments
9.11.2010

postheadericon Will You Bring Your "A GAME"?

3:18 PM | Posted by Codie Leath

Reason #3 for writing to 30 something’s about thriving – We are the Future Leaders of Churches and Society.  Let’s expand:

Who are the 2 most influential women in your church? At what age did they come into this role? How many years till you hit that age? What about your community… How old are the women running the Chamber of Commerce or running for office? How old are the philanthropists making the biggest impact or the moms on the Site Based Council who interview the high school principal applicants? How many years till you hit that age? When you do…will you bring your “A Game”?

The answers about these ages definitely vary: my mom was interviewing the principal applicants at age 55, but I have a good friend who is the director of recruitment for the Chamber of Commerce and she’s my age! Most churches I’ve worshiped at are primarily influenced by women in their 40’s and 50’s, but they’ve been well established for years. I know several newer fellowships where the 30’s and 40’s are the leaders. Whatever your city, whatever your situation, you’re probably either at bat or on deck.

Now the point isn’t just to be an influencer, but to use your influence to advance God’s Kingdom. Human nature is to promote our personal preferences and rally for our own agenda. This is very dangerous, especially in the church context. That is why we need to prepare ourselves ahead of time. Being at an influential age doesn’t guarantee you’ll be a useful leader. You need wisdom, maturity, discernment, experience to be ready. Here’s what we can do:

  1. Walk with God Now – Without a steady flow of Living Water, we won’t be much good for anything.
  2. Be Faithful in your Roles – Child of God, Wife, Mom, Employee, Home Manager, Steward, Church Member. List them out and make sure your bases are covered. Then, when extra time and energy comes along, start reaching out.
  3. Seek Mentoring – Help the older generation obey Titus 2:4. If they aren’t initiating to you, you ask them!! You’ve got nothing to lose. I initiated to 5 older women in the past several years. Two ended up being extremely helpful mentors.
  4. Accept some Responsibilities –When time allows, take on a task, project, or position to serve. On the job training is the best way to learn. It would be ideal to have a mentor walk you through it, giving feedback and encouragement along the way.

It’s not ok to slide on through life and not give back. That is lazy and safe and not Biblical. We can’t drop the ball for the next generation. And don’t think you can’t be influential because you’re shy or not a skilled communicator. God goes “out of His way” in Scripture to show that influence isn’t tied to personality or status. Think about Abraham’s personality vs. David’s, or Peter’s vs. Thomas'.  Moses had a speech impediment. Think of Esther’s status vs. Mary Magdalene’s or Ruth’s vs. Lydia’s. Surely you know by now that the laws of spiritual leadership are upside down from the world’s. Believe it, my friend, so you can move forward and THRIVE!
4 comments
9.04.2010

postheadericon What Values are you Reproducing?

10:37 PM | Posted by Codie Leath

Reason #2 for writing to 30somethings’s about thriving - Family Foundations Are Being Laid. Let’s expand:

I’m 31 and in my 10th year of marriage but my kids are 2 and 4. The way my husband Brad and I run our family will forever make an impression on them. We had 6 years together before the kids came along. It was valuable time to get the kinks out because now everything counts. Every conversation, decision, interaction makes an imprint on their being.

The following are questions Brad and I are wrestling with:

What are our values, our convictions? What are our family’s non-negotiables? Do our kids ever see us spend time alone with
God or talking about scripture in everyday conversation? Are they secure about mommy and daddy’s love for each other? Do our kids know they’re more important to us than our careers and our stuff? Can they tell that we are after their hearts, not just their behavior? What precedent have we set in conflict resolution? Is Sunday just a day to wear our new dress clothes and eat out or a special day for worship and family? Are holidays about the kids or about Christ? Are athletics a chance to get the kids out of the house or an opportunity for character development and ministry? Will our kids leave home with any heart or skills to interact with those of different status or race? Or have they only seen how to climb the social and success ladder? Are they seeing us casually wave to our neighbors or engage in their lives? Do they see us pack our days full or leave margin between appointments? Will we hand down healthy eating, sleeping, and exercise habits or a pattern of indulgence or neglect? Are our financial decisions ones we’d be proud of our kids reproducing?

Decisions flow out of values, and values out of beliefs. If you believe in the Bible as God’s Word, then you’d agree we should value eternal things above all else. Namely our Triune God and the only 2 things on earth that last forever…the Word of God and the souls of men. These values should color all our decisions. For instance, because a person’s soul is of more value than our comfort, it is worth getting uncomfortable to reach out to a neighbor or coworker. Another example…since the words of God in the Word of God are of more value than our culture’s beliefs, it is worth transferring some of our media time to studying God’s Word. You can use this template to state your values and turn them into written convictions. Our values always dictate our choices.

Here’s a Challenge:

If you’re married (with or without children, it doesn’t matter) – Join Brad and I in discussing with your spouse some of the above questions. Maybe even put on paper your values and convictions. I know you won’t follow them perfectly, but you definitely won’t follow them if you never think them through.
If you’re single – Grab a close girlfriend and take an afternoon to get alone with God and think through these questions. Many will apply to you even though you don’t have a spouse or kids yet. It will be great prep for now and later. Then share with your friend what you decided. Let her check in on you over time to help you stay on track.

Here’s an inspiring story about my older brother. Two of his major objectives in life are obtaining a heart level connection with his kids and being salt and light in his community. So when he was asked to coach his son’s baseball team, he didn’t cower to the extra effort and inconvenience it might be even though he had little baseball and no coaching experience. Instead, he took it on and became a hero to his son and a living example of Christ to the other players and parents. This is how pre-thinking our values tees us up to take those divine opportunities God places in our way.
6 comments
8.29.2010

postheadericon What do you Splatter?

2:41 PM | Posted by Codie Leath


Reason #1 for writing to 30 something’s about thriving - The Stakes Are Higher. Let’s expand:

Imagine yourself in college…If you were to throw all your convictions to the wind and live a weekend selfishly and without constraint, you would probably wake up Monday felling guilty and regretful. You may have a few apologies to make and forgiveness to ask but within a week all would be close to normal. Take that same weekend and imagine it now. The consequences are exponentially greater. Your husband would be livid and deeply concerned about your behavior. Your children would respond with confusion and insecurity. Anyone you had been a Christian witness to would lose all respect for you. And who knows what effect it might have on your career and standing in the community. The more responsibility you have, the harder the fall.

My above example is extreme. But what about less obvious temptations that wiggle their way into our hearts and thinking? We must recognize them to be just as dangerous as the wild weekend. We can’t flirt with immorality or dishonesty like we’re 20 anymore. If you do, you need to take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and declare your real age and all that is riding on your shoulders. My neighbor told me the other day that sometimes her husband doesn’t like to do work around the house on his days off. Her response was, “Honey, we’re grown-ups now! That’s what we do on our days off.” Just hearing her say that empowered me to view myself like a grown up and face the hard reality of having a lot depend on me.

This is a spiritual issue too, of course. In Biblical terms, “God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” To think you can act foolishly, and it not come back to bite you, is like mocking God. In His economy, you reap what you sow, more than you sow, and later than you sow. That goes for sowing foolishness but also sowing righteousness. It works for you both ways. Sin splatters but so does right living. You will influence those around you and now you have a lot more people around you than before. The stakes are higher. What are you splattering?

Practical Questions:
  1. Are you fair at work?
  2. Are you honest with your husband/roommate?
  3. Are you emotionally available for your children?
  4. Do you do what you say you’ll do?
  5. Married women: Are you reconnecting with old flames on Facebook?
  6. Are you respecting the boundaries of your marriage physically and emotionally?
  7. Do you spend money in secret?

    If your conscience is not clear, make it right. Before God and whomever else you’ve failed. Make it right so you can thrive! It’s not too late!
    4 comments
    8.21.2010

    postheadericon Why 30Something's?

    3:08 PM | Posted by Codie Leath
    8 Reasons why I’m writing to 30something’s (other than the fact that I am one):

    1. The Stakes are Higher – you now have as much as a career, spouse, and minivan full of kiddies depending on you. 10ish years ago you were in college and nothing was yet permanent.
    2. Family Foundations are Laid – you feel more ownership of your life than you ever have. You are both recalling and rewriting traditions from your upbringing to shape your new family’s foundation on which you intend to build in years to come.
    3. Future Leaders of Churches and Society – you’re only a few years away from being the most influential women in your churches and communities.
    4. Pace of Life- We cram so much in, we leave little or no margin, yet we always feel behind or guilty. You’ll burn out before you reach 40 if you don’t change this one area!!! More to come on this for sure. It’s a huge problem for our generation!!! Especially for women.
    5. Disillusionment, Discouragement, Disappointment – the 3D’s of Midlife Crisis are coming your way if they haven’t already hit. They don’t exactly wait till you’re 40.
    6. 5-7 year marriage hump- many say years 5-7 of marriage are the toughest and those typically fall in your 30’s. It was definitely true for us, except we married young so we were in our late 20’s. And you know…family breakdown is the beginning of societal decline.
    7. Lazier of mind- We are lazy thinkers compared to generations before us. Couple that with all the opportunities and decisions society offers now and you end up with over-scheduled, guilt ridden, exhausted people who can’t articulate the problem or the solution.
    8. Less Time to Recover – if you "blew" it in your 20’s, it’s not so hard to start over now. But if you "blow" it now, your 40’s could look grim. (Since we serve a Redeeming God, a follower of Christ can't really blow it. No one’s life is irreparable. But we do reap what we sow.)

    Points 1-3 are the opportunity. Points 4-7 are the barriers. Point 8 says NOW IS THE TIME! I want to walk with you through this stage of life as we learn to live thoughtfully, step intentionally, and THRIVE!

    More to come on all the above topics.

    Be sure to become a follower of 30Thrive so you can comment along the way. Thanks! -Codie
    1 comments
    8.14.2010

    postheadericon Thrivers Wanted

    6:01 PM | Posted by Codie Leath

    This blog is for Christian women in or around their 30’s who want to thrive in their roles. To thrive means to grow vigorously. I know that sounds exhausting but so does barely surviving. It seems to me that most 30somethings are in one of those categories (except those who don’t aspire for much). If you only react to your ever growing number of responsibilities and increased pace of life, your head will barely bob above water, but if you can stay just one step ahead of yourself and think through life before it pummels, you have a chance at thriving. And that is my purpose in writing. I want to help you live a well thought through life. This is my passion and my invitation…I’m looking for some Ladies to thrive with me!

    Thriver is its noun form. I think it takes 3 components to become one:


    1. Devotion to Christ – you can’t be your own lord anymore. From initial conversion to daily growth, our hearts must be surrendered to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. If you get this wrong, you can still “thrive” temporally, but definitely not eternally. And the temporal thriving will be an illusion anyway.
    2. Aim – a focus, a direction. Lots of women genuinely love Christ, but they have no understanding of the big picture of scripture or of their life and so they float ignorantly instead of stepping intentionally.
    3. Resilience – the ability to bounce back. The consequences of sin and the presence of evil are all around us because redemption is not yet complete. So if we can’t bounce back when trials hit, our potential for growth is quite limited.
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