30Thrive

What to expect

I think a reasonable amount of time to ask from your mentor is one appointment once a month for a six month commitment.  Your mentor may be willing and able to give more which would be a bonus.   It seems that every woman I have desired to spend hours with actually has very few to spare because she already gives so much to her family, church, and community.

Don’t expect her to spoon feed you.  A good mentor helps you interpret your situation from a bird’s eye view and encourages you to take the narrow road, but the details typically still remain up to you and the Lord.  It would be crippling to your growth for her to always fill in the blanks for you.  You can, however, expect her to share the riches of wisdom she’s learned from her mountains and valleys, not to mention the prayer, encouragement, and support she’ll so enjoy showering on you.  The women I’ve spoken with, who’ve stepped out in faith and begun to mentor a younger lady, are so expressive of the blessing they’re receiving from the experience.  It’s a win-win for everyone!

You can’t push a noodle.  I’ve tried and it’s brutal.  The intangible, intimidating thing about mentoring is that there’s no real curriculum other than the issues going on in the life of the mentee.  If you’re not willing to be transparent with your mentor then don’t even waste her time with an appointment.  Also, don’t burden your mentor by showing up each time with nothing prepared.  Here’s what you can do:

Let’s correct the situation we’re in.  Let’s pledge to pursue mentoring and to pass it on!  Let’s not leave the generation of our daughters untrained. Let’s glean all we can from today’s pillars so we’ll have the spiritual depth to live lives worth emulating. 

Just imagine if spiritual mentoring became the cultural norm in our churches.  Our walks with God would mature, producing healthier marriages and tighter families.  Our children would grow up with greater examples and deeper convictions.  Our churches would be a web of interlocking relationships crossing all generations.  We could actually function as a team in tending to each other and reaching the community, country, and world with the saving message of Jesus!  And we’d have the lives to back it up! 

So, mentee, what older, wiser woman will you contact?

If you want to be spiritually mentored, but there is no organic or programmed mentoring going on in your church, then here is what you should do:

I have been spiritually mentored off and on for the past 10 years.  Sometimes it was a weekly one on one appointment, sometimes a monthly phone call.  A few times it fell in my lap, mostly I had to go out and get it.  But it was always a tremendous privilege!  Outside of my personal, daily time with God, discipleship and mentoring have been the #1 contributors to my spiritual health.  I realize I am in the very small percentage of women who ever get these opportunities and I’m determined to do something about it.  Let’s start with a practical dissection of the subject:

Humans flourish with personal attention.  It’s true in every facet of life.  Your grades were better when you were tutored, your athletic performance improved when your coach was around, salespeople sell more when they talk regularly with a sales coach.  Our spiritual lives are no exceptions.  If a wiser woman gave you personal attention on a regular basis, assuming your cooperation, you would notice increased fruit in your life.

Tiger, Peyton, and Serena all have coaches.  Is it because they are the best or is it in part what has made them the best?

It’s time we all stopped ignoring the 4^th spoke of our life wheel, our spiritual life, and give it the same intentionality with which we’ve supplied our intellectual, physical, and social lives.

General Definition:  Mentoring is the intentional relationship between 2 people where the wiser, more experienced person counsels and guides the other.

In the realm of spiritual growth, let’s make some distinctions:

It is helpful to note that one does not need a seminary degree or counseling degree to mentor.  A track record of walking in cooperation with God’s lead in your life is what it takes. 

Despite the command in Titus 2:3-5 for the older women to train the younger women, we’re not seeing much mentoring in the Christian community.  Here are 3 reasons why: